Where I'm Coming From

So I'll be honest right off the bat. I do not claim to be a writer of any sort, but I'm always up for a challenge. Working at camp this summer has-for some reason-inspired me to start blogging about what I'm learning and experiencing in my everyday life.

I'm a college student who's finally getting it right. I got legit in October of 2009. By "legit" (that's one of my favorite words, by the way) I mean I got saved for real. I was that kid who grew up in a strong Christian family. Mom taught Sunday School, Daddy's a deacon. I had to be puking up my guts to stay home from church. I always had the right answer to anything asked in VBS or Sunday School. I said "the prayer" and was baptized (got wet is what I did) when I was about seven years old. But I'd never really given my life over to God. I had Jesus for fire insurance, you know what I mean? It was that brand of "Christianity" that says to God, "I'll do Your will if it's convenient or if it makes me look good, as long as I get what I want first." It's a lie. I lived a lie for eleven years. God broke me last summer. I was devoid of all emotion for nearly six months. I could appear happy or sad or whatever on the surface, but there was no connection whatsoever in my heart. I knew where to look for answers, of course, but I wouldn't admit that the problem was with me.

On the 27th of September, I got alone with God and poured my heart out to Him in my journal, begging Him to see my emptiness and brokenness and come back to me. It took another two weeks for me to see that the error of my thought process. I was the one who'd pushed Him away. I served Him when it suited me, but I'd never committed to living my life for His purpose. On October 7th, 2009, I gave up. I told God that I was done living for me; it only brought emptiness. Life has been nothing but better ever since. Jesus has essentially turned my life upside-down, but I'm okay with it because I know it's for His glory. This time last year, I was headed toward an acting career upon graduation. Now I'm destined for the mission field. Not sure where yet, but He'll let me know in His time. I'm still a babe in Christ with a lot to learn. One thing I know-He is good and He is faithful.

Now you know where I'm coming from. I know where I'm going in the end. From here on out, it's about the journey.