Truly Satisfied

So, these epiphanies are wonderful, but it'd be nice if they'd come when I wasn't in such dire need of sleep. Anyway, bear with me because my brain, while it is processing at an alarming rate, is not prone to sense-making right now.

Something Platt talked about in Secret Church really stood out to me. It was a little thing, but I've been mulling it over all day. I wish I could find the page it was on, but after searching the book from back to front and front to back, I have had no luck. The gist of it was this: you struggle not because your fleshly desires are too strong, but because they are weak and you are too easily pleased. Your desires are quickly met in the flesh. Long for the things of the Spirit and your desire will become strong for what really satisfies.

Like the woman at the well (in John chapter 4), I turn to worldly things to find meaning, fulfillment, validation. Granted, I've not been married five times, but I've certainly played the harlot, chasing after earthly things that will not satisfy. Sooner or later money, success, human relationships, good grades, whatever-these things will run out. You will come to the end and you will no longer be happy with more, more, more because there will be no more. The well you have dug for yourself will run dry, but you will still be dehydrated. They're great for the moment, certainly. No one would complain about having a hundred extra dollars lying around. It feels good to be recognized for your hard work. Having that special someone can send you over the moon with happiness. But temporal things will fail you. They will come to an end and they will not satisfy that deep longing in your heart. I know you feel it too.

Jesus tells the woman at the well that He knows of a source of living water that will never run dry. That source is Jesus Himself. Jesus is God and God is infinite. It's impossible for our puny human brains to comprehend infinite. Just try it. Think about forever. It doesn't end. It's not just a really long time, then it's over. It's never over. Got a headache yet? Knowing Jesus is the only thing that satisfies. It's not because when we reached the bottom of the well our thirst was quenched; it's because we can't reach the bottom of the well.

Instead of being satisfied with what's easy, set your mind on getting to know Jesus more. He will not disappoint. I was kind of a heathen this morning and fell asleep during the service at my church (on Easter... Yes, I know I'm a horrible Christian, blah, blah, blah. There's this thing called "grace," and I believe in it...), so I decided I'd listen to parts four and five of Matt Chandler's series on Ultimate Authority on my drive back to school. Now, these messages deal with confrontation and church discipline-topics we don't go to for a "happy-feel-good" sermon. But simply hearing the Word preached and spending time in meditation on what I'd heard was fellowshipping with God. I've got a six-hour drive between school and home, and this one was probably the best yet. I just had wonderful communion with my Lord through hearing the Word and singing along to my iPod. I've been in an awesome mood all night just because of spending time with Jesus. He alone satisfies in His infinite, unending depths.

But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14

But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? Galatians 4:9

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. Colossians 1:9-10

(I never intend to write this much...)

Where Does One Begin?

So I just got home from the special simulcast of Secret Church. I've got a 142-page notebook of truth and doctrine that is still blowing my mind. My plan is to make a study of it once I'm through the book of 1 John, so I'm sure there will be more posts about, but here's what I was thinking on the way home.

The beauty of the gospel is such that it does not fade or grow old with time. It is difficult to grow bored with the gospel. Rather, the more we gaze into it, the more we study its complexities and facets, the more we see exactly how much we do not understand. Instead of driving us away, however, this spurs us on in our desire to know God more.

I remember the first time I heard John Piper preach. I had the opportunity to attend Passion 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia, and Piper was one of the speakers. I had just gotten "legit" (as I like to put) it in October of 2009, and this was day 89 of my new life with Christ. I was (and still am in many ways) just a baby. I'd never heard of this view of God he was teaching. A self-centered, glory-concerned God just sounded awfully selfish to me. Wasn't He supposed to be about loving us, His creation? Wasn't He supposed to be about blessing me? My eyes were opened to the error of my thinking. God is about His own glory. Does He have this right? Umm...yes. He is the supreme sovereign God who created the universe; He can do what He wants.

I'd been doing okay this far into the conference, taking great notes in the sessions with Louie Giglio, Beth Moore, and Francis Chan (I kind of fell asleep during Andy Stanley's talk...ha.), but Piper blew me away. I just sat there in shock. I'd never heard this before and I was having difficulty processing. God was opening my baby Christian mind to huge truths that I wasn't ready for. He knew by showing me all this that it would give me a desire for more. And desire I did. When we met with our family groups afterward, I snapped out of shock and just wept. I don't understand. I want to understand was all I could say. I didn't have any spiritual teeth yet and God had just slapped me upside the head with a steak.

Since this experience, He has taught me more about Himself than I ever thought there was to know, and He just keeps going. Our God is unknowable, yet He invites us to know Him. Chew on that for a minute. We can never exhaust the depths of His character and attributes, yet we are blessed beyond measure when we spend time with Him.

Again, it's late. My brain is mush after tonight, so I apologize if this lacks sense in some places. Time for some sleep. There's more to come, you can be sure.

Hope you have a blessed day. =]

Disjointed Confessions

I don’t want Him enough. I can’t put it any other way. I say this out of frustration with myself. I want to want Him more, but I’m so easily distracted by other things. You know how it goes, you get into a really good book study and you’re beginning to understand things and…I was starting 1 John about two months ago—taking it slow, practicing my Greek, reading commentaries, writing good notes—when I simply allowed myself to be pulled away. When I’m in the Word, I crave it; I feel lost the first few days when I’m straying, but then it becomes easier and easier until I’m doing just fine without it. The truth is, that’s when I’m at my worst. It’s like this Chinese guy told me once about ping-pong (and you know how serious they are about ping-pong in China…): don’t practice for one day and you know it; don’t practice for two days and your opponent knows it; don’t practice for a week and everyone knows it.

I’m not okay without Jesus. I’m poor, wretched, naked, and blind without Jesus. Friend, you’re not okay without Jesus. We’ve got to stop pretending we can handle it ourselves. We’re fallen, far from perfect, missing the mark day after day, falling short, incapable-however you want to put it. We can’t do life without Jesus. These distractions are idols in disguise. They draw us away into worshipping them before we even realize what’s happening. One of my biggest idols is academia. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’ve got a thing for getting good grades. I would consider it utter failure to fall below a B in any class. I require excellence of myself in my schoolwork, so why don’t I apply that to my relationship with Christ? Why don’t I see it as utter failure when I haven’t spent time with my Savior in days?

Here’s something to think about: relationships are formed and developed through dialogue. (See, Mom and Dad, here’s something I’m learning from my Theatre minor!) If He’s talking and you’re not listening, there’s no development going on. If you’re not talking, zilch, zero. Here’s something else to think about: check out the language of this verse in 1 John. “…whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.” My Greek professor translates it this way. It’s a little more difficult to read, but he really gets the feel and action of the verbs. “The one who goes on claiming to abide in Him has a continuing obligation just as that One lived even he himself to go on walking.” If I claim Christ, I have an obligation to be continually striving to live as He lived. How is that? Pursuing of the will of the Father (John 6:38; 5:30; 4:34). Living a holy life (1 Peter 1:15-16). There is so much more I could say, but it’s late and I’m tired. We are to live like Christ by portraying faith, love, obedience to the Father, self-sacrifice, holiness, and the limitless list of His characteristics. You think this is impossible? Yes, it is impossible alone. We can’t do it without God’s grace. Lucky for us, He gives if we ask. Check out James 4:1-10 for more on that. I’m goin’ to get some shut-eye after He and I spend some time talking.

Whosoever, then, really perceives what fellowship with God is, will be satisfied with it alone, and will no more burn with desires for other things. - John Calvin on 1 John 1:4